Everyone strives to lead a happy life. Who doesn’t want to share the habits of happy couples? How many times have we seen those cute couples sharing things, living a positive relationship, grow stronger each day, and then remind ourselves that these are the happy couple habits that I want to share with my partner too? So what are these happy couples doing then?
Dr. Mark Goulston gives us the answer in his famous book “10 Habits of Happy Couples”, a book that has now been read by more than 500,000 people across the world. Dr. Mark Goulston is a psychiatrist, international speaker, and best selling author of numerous best-selling books (such as ‘Just Listen: Discover the secret to getting through absolutely anyone’, ‘The 6 Secrets of Lasting Relationships’)
In this book, Dr. Goulston describes how couples can develop the habits of happy couples, and says that it works no matter which state your relationship is in. So if you are looking for the secrets behind the habits of happy couples, then here is the list of what they do:
1.Go to bed at the same time
If you have ever been in love and ever lived with your partner, then you might remember how you were eager to get to bed (for the obvious purpose, ahem, but that’s not the only thing). You went to sleep at the same time. The habits of happy couples indicate that they resist going to bed at different times, even though one has to wake up later for some work while the other sleeps.
2. Develop common interests
Once that spark starts to dry, you need to keep the things that you have in common stick, and still find new interests that you can share. That is what other happy couples have developed as their habit.
3. Walk side by side or hand in hand
Rather than walking in-front or lagging behind, happy couples walk side by side. (And no it’s not like Nicki Minaj/Ariana Grande style “side by side” if you know what I mean). For happy couples, this habit is very crucial.
4. Develop trust and forgiveness
There will always be disagreements and arguments between couples. But the happy couples develop the habit of forgiving each other and trusting each other.
5. Focus on what s/he does right
Instead of focusing on the wrong or negative things, happy couples tend to focus on the right things. They harmonize with everything positive.
6. Hugging and kissing
No matter what time of the day it is, as soon as the couple sees each other, they hug or kiss. That is just the habit of happy couples. Dr. Goulston says that humans have the memory of good touch – the loved touch, the bad touch – the abused touch and no touch – the neglected touch. As the couple hug, the memory of good touch accentuates and works subconsciously too.
7. I love yous and Good days
The I love yous and Good days repeat any time of the day, and it can be a positive feeling as each partner starts his/her day, leaving that traffic and other annoyances behind.
8. The Goodnights
Not only just the I love yous and Good days, the habit of happy couples also showed that they tend to say Goodnight before going to bed. According to Mark, this tells your partner that you still want to be in the relationship and that you and your partner are there for each other, even in dreams.
9. The Weather check
Happy couples check on each other time to time each day just to know how their day is going. Mark says this can develop the level of expectations and get the couples in sync. For example, if a person is having a bad day, then the partner would adjust himself/herself for low enthusiasm about doing something.
10. Be Proud to be seen with the partner
The best habit of happy couples is that they love each other and they are proud to be seen with each other. This is more of an affectionate contact, rather than just showing off.
Here is an excerpt from his book 10 Habits of Happy Couple:
“Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.</p><p>If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, “Just Listen” and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.”